Sanity
by Phil929
Summary: Seth comes home with a bruise. Ryan doesn't come home at all. The worst thing for a parent is finding out their child has been kidnapped especially to a man who is obviously violent.
1. Chapter 1

**Hours**

Sandy could remember the night that changed their lives forever clearly. He remembered Ryan leaving with Seth to go to a party and only Seth coming home, wearing a bruise on his cheek.

He and Kirsten had waited up for them and had begun worrying as the hours had passed on, way past their joint curfew. Ryan usually made sure that the two of them were back in time and they became increasingly worried as time moved further and further forward.

They were meant to be back by 11:30 and both parents sat down in front of a film at 10:00 thinking that it would finish about the time the boys would be back.

When the film finished and the boys were still not home, they both hesitated before going to bed. They put in 'Fiddler on the Roof', at Sandy's request, and waited for the sound of a car pulling up into the drive.

At 1:00 am, Kirsten began pacing and Sandy would dart through to the kitchen looking for two guilty and sheepish boys sneaking into the pool house at least every twenty minutes.

The pool house remained dark and still, too still.

At 2:00 am, the two sat on the sofa. Kirsten lay cradled in Sandy's arms.

"I'm sure they both just slept over at one of the girl's houses." He suggested but the cordless phone never left his hand. "Why don't you go and catch some sleep, you have work tomorrow and I'll wait up for then."

"What if something happened to them?" Kirsten piped up craning her neck to see outside. She kept expecting to hear the car entering the drive but there was only a stony silence.

"Kirsten, listen I bet they're absolutely fine. Well maybe not Ryan, he'll probably wake up feeling completely guilty, you know what he's like but I'm sure they're fine."

He soothed and tried to keep his voice level low. The boys had better have a good reason for this.

3:00 am passed and Kirsten finally agreed to go to bed. Sandy convinced her by telling her that if there was something wrong they would have got a call from the police or hospital.

She trailed off to bed trying to keep her exhaustion at bay and stifling a yawn.

Sandy managed to stay awake for another hour but without his wife's company he couldn't keep his eyes from drifting shut.

He was woken two hours by a frantic Kirsten. "Sandy, where are they? They're still not home!" She called shaking him and he put his tiredness to the back of his mind.

Kirsten bustled off up the stairs to check Seth's room. The pool house was empty but she hadn't checked Seth yet.

She pushed open the door and flew in. She heaved a sigh of relief when she saw black curls sticking out from under his comforter.

She went over and shook him. He groaned and tried to pull away from her but turned over when he heard his father begin to order him to wake up as well.

He looked hung over, his skin was pale and his eyes were accentuated by purple sacks. Kirsten gasped when she saw the purpling bruise appearing on his cheek.

"Seth, what happened?" his mom asked and he looked at her confused before his eyes widened and he looked around the room frantically.

"Where's Ryan? Is he here?" He asked quickly and Kirsten looked at Sandy worriedly.

"Seth, what happened?" She repeated and he put a shaking hand to his head.

"Oh God, I don't know. There was this random guy. We were just driving and he made us pull over and he wouldn't stop yelling at us. He made us get out of the car and then he hit me and…. I… I don't remember anything else."

Kirsten stared at him in horror. "What?" She asked and she felt Sandy behind her grip onto her shoulder.

"Seth, this is really important, can you remember anything about the man? What did he look like?" He asked, trying desperately not to panic.

"I don't… he wouldn't stop yelling and I… Ryan wouldn't look at me. It all happened so fast."

He whimpered and Kirsten pulled him into a hug.

"I'm gonna go and check the pool house," Sandy said before darting out of the room, taking the stairs two steps at a time.

He hurried through the kitchen and out to the patio. He pushed open the glass door but knew before he got in to it that it was empty. The stony silence was still present and the gloomy darkness was still engulfing his son's room.

"Ryan! " He called into the room. He refused to believe he wasn't there. He refused to admit defeat and believe his inner self telling him that the man Seth had been talking about had him.

He pulled open the bathroom door and called into it. He checked the shower, the cupboard. Anywhere that Ryan may be. He kept expecting him to step out from around the corner with a puzzled look on his face.

There was no sign and he grabbed the cordless phone that stayed in the pool house.

"Julie, Julie oh God is Ryan there? Are you sure? He's gone missing and we can't find him anywhere." He tried to be patient and listen to Julie but he couldn't stay on the line when his son was missing and could be in pain for all he knew. If the man hit Seth and didn't feel bad about it, then what would he be willing to do to Ryan? He was the kind of person who would try and fight back no matter what the consequences.

He said a quick, hurried reply and hung up the phone.

He returned to the house and ran back to Seth's room. He was quietly crying into his mother and Sandy shook his head slightly when Kirsten turned to him expectantly.

"I'm going to call the police." He said. He put the phone once again back to his ear and watched as Kirsten put her face in Seth's curls and tried to stop herself from shaking.

TBC…


	2. Chapter 2

Hi, thank you so much for all the reviews. I have never received so many for only one chapter before and so was very excited. I decided that I'd post this chapter up and I'm hoping crosses fingers that I'll get the next one up by the end of the week.

**Days**

Images of black and red flew into his vision. The image of blonde hair and blue eyes with tears glistening in the corners and falling down bruised cheeks. A cry in the dark and the sound of Ryan calling his name filled his ears.

He sat up in bed, sweat running down his neck and back. He brought his shaking hands to his head and tried to quieten his breathing. He didn't want to wake Kirsten. She'd finally allowed him to give her a sleeping pill to help her to go to sleep and she was snoring quietly next to him.

He carefully removed himself from the bed and locked himself in their shared bathroom.

Ryan had been missing for 4 days now and the police had found little trace of him. Seth was spending his first night not in their bed. It was the quietness and suddenness of the whole ordeal that had the whole family waking up from long hours of tormented to sleep to realise that their dreams weren't far from the truth. Ryan was really missing.

There was a police man staying with them. No one knew what the motives of the kidnapper had been. Sandy had wanted to make sure no one would be able to attack his family again so he had arranged for a police man to be with them at all times.

The days were moving too fast. Each one would be filled with more pain for Ryan and the police told them as each day passed there was a smaller chance of him being found alive. The thought that Ryan may not be alive had sent Kirsten into hysterics and it had taken Sandy hours to calm her down.

They had to find Ryan, he was a member of the family now and they would not give up looking for him, however long it took. They would not give up on him.

He splashed water on his face, waking himself up. He had to be the strong one. The nana was coming down for a few days to help look after Seth whilst he and Kirsten were busy with the police. They didn't want to leave him alone, not after what happened so she had agreed.

Kirsten had almost protested but who else would be able to come. Julie was too busy trying to console Marissa and Neil was on a business conference.

Sandy stepped away from the sink. What kind of state would they find Ryan in? He prayed to God that he would be alive.

The newspapers were filled with Newport's newest 'horror' story and often he'd been stopped in the streets by a newpsie trying to appear caring but failing miserably. It was clear they were only after the juicy gossip so they could be the first to tell their friends.

The issue was that Ryan had vanished. The only person who had seen it happen was Seth. All Seth remembered was that the kidnapper was a guy and had a loud voice. The police officers had been getting frustrated at him but one look at his traumatised face showed he wasn't keeping anything to himself.

Sandy found himself walking on auto pilot through the house and on to the patio. He kept expecting Ryan to come through those glass doors with a sheepish grin and an apology for making them all worry, but none came.

The police had searched the pool house for any clues. They had been surprised when they asked to see Ryan's room and found it to be outside and a glass box.

Sandy made a mental note that when Ryan came back they had to move him into the main house. It had been okay when he had first arrived and needed the solidarity but the lack of security was clear and he wanted to be as close as he could to Ryan as he could. He needed him to be safe.

He looked around the room and saw the punch bag swinging slightly from side to side in the wind. He had dug that old thing out of the garage for Ryan when he remembered he owned it and thought it would be good anger management for him.

He saw the draws, usually neat and organised but now messy from the police men rifling through his things.

A picture of the family lay on the counter and he picked it up. It was from Ryan's first Chrismukkah with the family and he was smiling. It had been the first time they'd had a family picture together and they all had a copy.

Another picture lay next to their family portrait. He was surprised to see Dawn and Ryan's father smiling back at him. A much younger Trey and a little baby Ryan were also photographed. Dawn held Ryan; he was so small and wrapped in a blanket, fast asleep. Trey was holding his father's hand and Frank was bent over towards him.

They looked like a normal, happy family. One that could survive anything but how wrong was that statement? How could everything have just fallen apart for them?

His mind drifted to the man who had taken Ryan away. Had he set out for Ryan? The police reckoned the abduction had been planned. Everything was too hidden and covered up for the attack to have been purely coincidence.

He hated all of this second guessing. Why had Seth been left? How did Seth manage to get into his bed and not feel the urge to go to him or Kirsten? Especially seeing as he had been asleep on the couch.

The police had tried to look at CTV cameras but they were all blocked by something. Whoever had taken Ryan really wanted him and had obviously been planning the attack for weeks. Was there more than one man? One man couldn't possibly have been able to do this by himself.

He left the pool house unable to stand it any longer and he found Seth sitting in the kitchen, staring blankly at the table. The bruise on his face was still there but much less noticeable. However, whenever any of the family saw it, the thought that Ryan was alone with the man who had caused the bruise was brought home to them.

He put a reassuring hand in Seth's shoulder and rubbed it.

"We'll find him Seth,"

He just wished he could believe those words himself.

TBC…


	3. Chapter 3

Hi, thank you for all of your reviews. I hope I managed to reply to them all and I didn't miss anyone. If I did, I apologise. I have thought of a much better way of replying now so this time I won't miss anyone. I really appreciate the reviews you've been giving and I don't want to seem ungrateful.

Here is chapter 3 and chapter 4 should be coming as soon as I can.

**Chapter 3**

Sandy peered out of the window, scanning the crowd of paparazzi. They had been on the drive for hours now and were still not making any sign of leaving. He had half the mind to go out there and shout at them to leave his family alone but he knew it would just make everything worse.

The house was so quiet, deafeningly so. He hadn't seen Kirsten since breakfast when she'd poured almost half a bottle of vodka into her tomato juice, giving him a glare to silence him before he could say anything to stop her.

He'd checked on Seth earlier on, but he'd refused to leave the safety of under his comforter.

He'd tried to talk to Seth about how he'd ended up in his room that night but it had backfired and now Seth would only speak to Captain Oats and occasionally his mom.

His family was falling apart.

He'd spoken to his mom and she'd insisted on coming down to help the family out. At first he had resisted, Kirsten was not a fan of the Sophie Cohen but his mother, hard ass as she was, wasn't taking no as an answer.

Now that she was scheduled to arrive in a few hours, Sandy found himself longing for the hours to go quicker. He needed someone to take charge and tell him what to do.

She wouldn't be able to find Ryan but she could always keep the police men in line and make sure they were doing their job right. After all, his mother could be pretty terrifying when she wanted to be.

He needed someone to help him answer the numerous phone calls and police visits. Someone who would tell him that everything would be alright and that Ryan would be found. He had to stay so upbeat all the time for Kirsten and Seth, but no one was remaining up beat or reassuring for him.

The PI that he'd hired to work for them during the ordeal was supposed to ring his cell phone if he heard anything, anything at all.

He'd only received two calls from him so far. One was to let him know that the police were expanding the search and Sandy felt sick at the thought that Ryan really could be anywhere in America, not to mention in another country. The ordeal had been so planned and so well organised, there could have so easily been a helicopter or a plane waiting.

The other phone call had just declared that there had been no sighting thus far and that he'd keep Sandy posted.

Every time his cell made any kind of sound, Sandy would jump a mile and grab it before anyone could pick it up before him. The hope that Ryan had been found filled him every time and every time that the phone call turned out to be nothing, it felt like he'd lost Ryan all over again.

He frowned slightly when the heavy silence was lifted by the sound of arguing from upstairs.

He He jdgf

He jumped up quickly, following the sound of raised voices. It soon became clear that Kirsten was shouting at Seth about something and Seth was emotionally replying in an equally loud, albeit teary voice.

Sandy opened the door and watched Kirsten, in a drunken rage, gesticulating with her arms as she shouted.

"Why didn't you wake up your father? Ryan is out there somewhere and all you're doing is hiding under your sheets and acting like the sulky teenager that you are."

She was practically screaming at her son and Sandy watched as the tears slunk down Seth's face in response to her words.

"I can't remember what happened mom. One minute the guy was shouting and hitting me and the next you and dad were waking me up." His voice was quieter now and soggy with his tears.

"Bull shit!"

Seth looked as if he'd been slapped around the face and Sandy knew it was time for him to intervene.

"Okay guys, stop. This isn't helping."

He turned to Kirsten and softened his voice, putting his hands on her shoulders. "Honey, let's get you to bed, huh? You look exhausted and I'm sure some more sleep would make you feel a little better. I know you didn't get much rest last night."

He pulled her into his arms and at first she resisted but then she melted into the embrace. He could feel his shirt soaking up her tears and he held her tightly. He breathed in the scent of her perfume and kissed her crown, just as he always did when she was upset about something.

He looked up at Seth briefly and saw him standing uncertainly. The Captain was watching from the side and Sandy could see Seth repeatedly looking at the plastic horse. It was as if he was waiting for it to suddenly spring into life and look after him.

He gently pushed Kirsten out of the room and gestured to Seth that he'd be back in a moment.

Seth barely acknowledged him but Sandy knew he wouldn't be going anywhere.

He led Kirsten down the stairs, allowing her to let the tears out.

He should have seen this coming. He should have known in her drunken state she would have gone after the one person who was being the most unhelpful during this whole situation.

God, the night before when he'd tried to ask Seth about it, he'd nearly taken out his stress on the kid.

The thought of Ryan being alone and hurting, was just so awful and terrifying that it was just balling up inside of both of them and threatening to escape.

When he reached their bedroom, he lowered Kirsten on to the bed and stroked back a stray hair from her face.

"Oh Sandy, what do you think they're doing to him? I just… I was so annoyed with him… and Seth for not coming home on time and I…."

Sandy held her as she sobbed, wrapping his arms around her quivering body.

"We'll find him. You know Ryan; he's probably punched that man and is on his way home right now." He tried to give her a tentative smile but it barely reached the corners of his lips.

Yes, he knew Ryan. He knew Ryan wouldn't give up with a fight. He knew that Ryan would be no match to the man that Seth had described to the police.

He held Kirsten as she cried herself to sleep, lying with her on the bed.

Even asleep, tears still leaked from her eyes and her face still held a frown of sadness.

He carefully removed himself from her embrace and kissed her on the forehead. He pulled the blanket over here unconscious form and left the room.

As much as he wanted to cradle his wife and try and calm her aching heart, he knew that he needed to speak to his son.

He left the room, shutting the door quietly behind him.

Seth was lying on his bed when Sandy entered his room. His watery brown eyes stared at the ceiling and he didn't make any movement suggesting that he'd heard his dad come in.

"Seth, your mom's just upset. She didn't mean what she said," Seth barely stirred but Sandy could see the tears collecting in his eyes again.

"This is hard on all of us and I can imagine it must be especially bad for you, being there when it happened," Sandy saw when he'd hit a nerve.

Seth's face crumpled and clenched his fists tightly, knuckles turning white.

He moved over and pulled up Seth's computer chair to the bed.

"Please Seth, just talk to me. You're usually so good at talking. God, usually we can't get you to stop." Sandy kept his voice soft and leant in closer.

Seth wiped a hand over his eye, swiping at the tears.

"Well, having your brother taken away when, if you hadn't been so drunk you could maybe have helped him, kind of changes those sorts of things." Seth's voice sounded choked and Sandy leant in even closer, trying to offer his son as much comfort as he could.

"You know, the nana's coming down to stay with us for awhile," At Seth's sudden frown he continued on. "She wants to keep the Private Investigator on their toes and the police in line, make sure they're doing their jobs properly."

Seth shrugged and turned slightly away from him.

Sandy stood up, sighing, ready to leave. t was obvious he was getting nowhere.

Seth's cracked voice stopped him in his tracks.

"You're wrong about Ryan dad, whatever you say to mom about him being a fighter. He may be a fighter but he is no match to this guy. I saw Ryan try to fight back, to protect me... but he couldn't."

The tears began to fall again.

"I saw him fall, I saw him being thrown into a van before the man turned to me. He didn't want me... I wasn't who he wanted..."

Sandy turned back to him. "Seth..." he began.

"Hello? Sandy? I'm here!" Sandy jumped and closed his eyes in defeat. He saw Seth turn to the wall, away from him.

"Hello? Sanford?"

He left the room quietly and made his way slowly down the stairs.

"Ma, you're early."

TBC...


	4. Chapter 4

You guys are amazing; I've almost had 10 reviews per chapter so far! I can't believe it. Here is the next chapter. No Ryan just yet, but I promise it's not too long now…

Oh and a little warning… this chapter is a tad melodramatic. :)

Chapter 4

"_We'll find him Seth,"_

Sandy's former self's words came floating back to him.

Haunting him.

3 weeks had gone by since that fateful night and there was still no sign of Ryan.

The nana was being a big help. She'd tell him and Kirsten when to sleep, when to eat. She was keeping them optimistic even though every day the police were getting more and more pessimistic.

However, nothing could help Sandy through this particular day.

The 5th March 2004.

Sandy would never forget **that** day.

It had started, just as all the others had.

The nana came into Sandy and Kirsten's room, coffee for both of them at the ready. Then she left them to take Seth's cup up to his bedroom.

It was while Sandy was sipping politely at March 5ths coffee, not particularly wanting the coffee but drinking it anyway as something to distract himself, when he got the phone call.

He didn't even hesitate about flipping open the phone to see who was on the other end; he was too tired to care.

"Sandy Cohen," he said automatically.

"Hi… uh… it's Mike here. I was wondering if we could meet today. There's something I want to tell you but I want to do it in person."

Sandy had been a public defender for many years and he recognised the worry and regret in the man's voice. It immediately snapped him awake.

"What's happened?" he asked, almost dropping his mug of coffee in his rush to put it on the bed side table.

He could feel Kirsten's eyes boring in to him.

"Sandy… it could be nothing but I really need to meet with you." Sandy could feel his heart beat quickening.

A rush of emotions filled him.

"Mike… please?" He could barely keep the anxiety out of his voice and he heard the man sigh softly.

"Okay, I'll come to you. Just relax, try not to panic. It could really be nothing. I just need you to keep calm. I'll be there in about ten minutes."

Sandy barely heard the man say goodbye as he continued to hold the phone to his ear in shock.

His mind raced through everything that could possibly have happened, what was Mike going to tell him?

"Sandy? What's going on?" Kirsten's voice broke through his conscious.

She sounded so scared and Sandy wanted to take that fear away, he could feel the same feeling inside of himself. He knew she didn't need placating or being given false hope. What she needed was to know where her adopted son was.

"Mike's coming over. He has something he wants to tell us…" Kirsten's watched him with wide, blue eyes.

"He says it could be nothing but he didn't want to tell me on the phone." He breathed out, rubbing a shaking hand over his face.

"Oh God," Kirsten whispered.

He put his arm around her. "Whatever he says, we'll take it together, okay? The last thing Ryan would want us to do is fall apart. We just have to stick together."

She nodded silently, leaning in to him.

"Okay," she breathed

xxx

Fifteen minutes later, the two of them sat together, holding hands and watching the man before them, scrutinising every single movement that he made.

Sandy watched the way that Mike tried to keep his voice calm as he began to speak.

"Okay, I'm not going to dilly dally around. There has been a teenager found, who matches Ryan's description. Now, remember it may not be Ryan, but just to be sure, they would like one of you to come…"

Kirsten breathed a sigh of relief. She interrupted him. "So you mean you found him? Is he okay?" She squeezed Sandy's hand, beaming.

Sandy still watched Mike. Something wasn't right.

"Why couldn't you have told me this over the phone?" he asked sceptically.

Mike paused for a few seconds before pulling out a piece of paper from his bag and handing it to Sandy.

Sandy bit down hard on his lip; his trembling hands clasped the paper tightly as he read the words. He could feel Mike watching him.

He fought to keep his voice level. "Will you come with me?" he asked and the man before him nodded.

Kirsten frowned, her excitement diminishing before their eyes.

"What? Sandy? What's the matter? Where is he? Sandy?" Sandy rubbed her arm, trying to calm her down.

"I told them that I'd bring you as soon as I could. Remember, it's not definitely Ryan." Mike leaned forward, making sure he had both their eyes on him.

Kirsten snatched the piece of paper out of Sandy's hand, scanning her eyes over the address.

"Oh God," she whispered. "Oh no, Sandy…."

Sandy knew that he had to do this. Kirsten wouldn't be able to handle it.

"Come on, let's get you to the kitchen." he stood and pulled her to her feet. "Just give me a minute," he said quietly to Mike.

The nana was sitting in the kitchen, looking at a cookery book. She looked up as they entered and immediately stood up when she saw the tears falling down Kirsten's face.

"Ma, will you look after her. I have to go out… I shouldn't be long." he said, struggling to keep himself calm. He had to take charge. He needed to hang on to that littlest piece of hope that Ryan could still be alive. It could be someone else. He settled Kirsten into a stool by the counter top.

"Where are you going?" his mom seemed a little afraid even to ask and Sandy fought back the tears as he told her.

He handed her the paper.

"A morgue…?" she whispered, her face paling.

"It might not be Ryan but they need someone to say whether it is or isn't."

His mom's eyes widened with shock and she pulled him into a hug. "Good luck," she whispered in his ear.

She'd never been the most huggable mom but God, he really needed her comfort right now.

xxx

Mike kept a hand on his shoulder as the body was brought over to him. The drive over had been in silence and Sandy's brain was overflowing with thoughts.

The man in the white coat asked him if he was ready and he hesitated, looking back at the door they had come through.

"Just give him a second," Mike told the man. "It's okay Sandy, I'm right here."

How was this in the slightest bit okay?

Sandy took a deep breath. He hated how everyone was waiting for him to give the go ahead. Like, he was ever going to be ready to see a dead body especially with the risk that it could be his son's.

He didn't know what he'd do if it was Ryan. He did know that whoever had taken Ryan, was going to have to pay big time, when he was found.

He wished Ryan could send him a sign telling him whether he was the one lying on the hard metal stretcher.

He gave a quick small nod. Trying to make himself feel like he was ready.

His heart beat wildly in his chest as the man picked up the corner of the blanket.

His breathing quickened.

Please don't be Ryan. Please don't be Ryan.

He felt his hands shaking and nausea rolled lazily around in his stomach.

Please don't be Ryan.

He saw a bit of blonde hair.

Oh God please, please don't make it be Ryan.

The face was revealed and Sandy felt the nausea pushing its way up.

Immediately, there was bowl placed under his chin.

It was that day the 5th March 2004 that Sandy had truly believed for a few seconds that his son was dead. Only to find that it was someone else's 15 year old, blonde boy's son.

As Sandy gagged and threw up, the sight of the dead boy's face fixed in his mind, he was filled with so many emotions.

He felt tremendous relief that Ryan could still be alive. But then there was guilt. Somewhere, that boy's parents were praying for their son to be alive. He wondered if they were doing the same thing, seeing other dead children's bodies. Feeling a burst of relief that it wasn't their son's but little did they know that their son was lying on a cold hard stretcher, being looked at by a complete stranger.

Sandy knew that **that** day March 5th would haunt him forever.

tbc…

Thanks for reading.


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks again for all the reviews. I am truly honoured and love replying to them.

This chapter was harder to write but I finally did it and I really hope you guys like what I have come up with.

Chapter 5

The Cohens all sat around the table together, in silence.

Today would have been the first birthday that Ryan would have ever had in their house. The day should have been filled with happiness, laughter.

Instead, the family just sat around, avoiding each other's gazes but relishing in each other's silence.

The nana was at the supermarket buying the ingredients for a birthday cake. She was determined to help them celebrate the day even if Ryan wasn't there to join in.

It felt like time was moving too quickly and yet too slowly at the same time. The days themselves seemed to go depressingly slowly but then the police would tell them how long Ryan had been missing and then time would feel like it was in fact whirl winding past them.

He'd be 16 today and Sandy knew that Ryan had been looking forward to the day for a long time.

Sandy could almost see Ryan's little smile when the family had been talking at Chrismukkah about how old each of them would be that year. He'd gushed about how old to him 16 had sounded and Sandy had loved seeing him so open with his happiness.

He could almost feel the way the kid's t-shirt felt when he'd patted his back, telling him it wasn't too far away now.

God, he missed him.

Sure, Ryan had only been in the family since late August the previous year but there was still an aching hole in his heart where his youngest son should have been.

He longed for those small little smiles, Ryan would give. The way he would look at you from the corner of his eye and how just one look would tell you exactly what he was thinking at that moment.

Those were the things he missed the most.

He eyed the phone, begging it to ring. Begging, there to be some news of his son.

Anything.

xxx

Sandy had had to leave the kitchen when his mom had arrived back at the house. She'd managed to persuade Seth into helping bake the cake but Sandy hadn't had the courage to stay.

He just couldn't bear the thought of celebrating the 16th birthday that Ryan had been looking so forward too, without him.

He sat in his office, trying to keep his hands busy and trying to think of something to do.

He glanced at the clock on his desk and tried not to think about how quickly the day was going. Sandy had hoped that this day would bring good luck. That this day would bring news of Ryan's whereabouts.

It was the kind of thing you'd here about on TV soaps; kid goes missing and turns up on his birthday. Sandy knew that those programs weren't exactly showing realistic situations, but the whole situation felt so unreal anyway, he'd just held that little bit of hope.

He opened up a Word document on his computer and began tapping away at the key board. Trying to force his mind off of the silent phone and on to other things instead.

He could faintly hear the Nana talking to Seth and Kirsten in the kitchen and the mumble of Seth's responses.

He was glad that his mom was able to help Seth get out of his little box. He barely left his room but that morning she had managed to cajole him out and even four hours later, he was still in the kitchen.

Her niceness made him feel a little guilty that he didn't visit her more and that she wasn't invited to visit them more. He hadn't seen her in years and had been surprised when she'd offered to come over and help them so eagerly.

Usually, she couldn't stand California and Kirsten would have her red with rage over nothing. But this time was different and as much as Sandy wished that maybe she had changed, he still could not get the thought out of his head that there was something else. Something that she wasn't telling him.

It was the way that she watched him sometimes or Seth. It was like she was savouring those moments. At first Sandy had figured it was only pity he was seeing but now he wasn't so sure.

It was just strange, she'd never met Ryan and yet she was so willing to help them. It was so unlike the Nana he knew.

Plus, Sandy couldn't help to wonder what Ryan would make of the attention from her when they found him.

He chuckled softly; Ryan had never really been open to affection. He'd barely accepted it from them let alone a stranger. They'd had an extremely stressful time just before Chrismukkah when he'd contracted the flu. He and Kirsten and wanted to help him so badly but his feverish state was making him snappy and he most definitely wanted to be left alone.

He sighed sadly at the memory. As much as it had annoyed him at the time to experience Ryan's stubborn side, it still made him smile to think that Ryan had obviously subconsciously felt comfortable enough with them to allow himself to be snappy.

In his heart he knew that they would find Ryan and he'd be alive. He'd said the words enough times to Seth and Kirsten to make himself believe it.

He knew that Ryan would come back to them and sure, he would be hurt physically and most definitely emotionally, but he knew that together as a family they could help him through the hurt.

A crashing sound from the kitchen made him jump and he stood up immediately, before hurrying to the kitchen.

He entered the room to find the Nana wiping away tears of laughter, something he had never seen before, Seth standing with his hands on his hips and Kirsten looking at her hands guiltily.

"What happened?" Sandy asked.

He noticed the broken bowl on the floor and the cake mixture splattered over the floor.

Seth took no notice of his father.

"Mom, all you had to do was pick up the bowl and place it in the fridge. It's really not that hard." he said, trying to keep the exasperation out of his voice but emphasising the "pick up" bit.

"I know but the fridge door was stuck and I had to use both hands to open it and it just kind of slipped…"

Her words were lost as she too began laughing, not as much as the Nana but enough to hinder her words.

Seth watched her like she was crazy but a smile also spread on to his lips.

Sandy couldn't remember the last time he'd seen his son smile.

He grinned at the scene before him. "I'm not even going to ask," he said.

The sound of the phone ringing interrupted the scene and Sandy walked over to it, a smile still on his lips. He could hear Kirsten and the Nana still laughing away.

"Sandy Cohen," he said into the receiver.

"We've found him."

Three short words and Sandy felt his body freeze and then begin to tremble, a bursting feeling overcoming his body.

"Is it definitely him?" he asked, having force the words out past his lips. He wouldn't be able to bear it if he psyched up Kirsten and Seth, not to mention himself, only to find that this was another blonde hair kid that happened to also match Ryan's description.

"Definitely is, Sandy."

Sandy breathed in sharply and he felt Kirsten coming in closer. He could no longer hear the sound of laughter. He looked around and saw Seth moving closer to the Nana, seeking comfort from her.

He held out a trembling hand to Kirsten and she accepted it, moving closer to him.

The next words were a struggle to come out. The man hadn't said if Ryan was alive or dead yet. He forced out the words, begging for the answer to be a positive one.

"Is he okay?"

tbc…

See, I told you Ryan would be in soon :D

Thanks so much for reading.


	6. Chapter 6

Hi, thank you so much for all the wonderful reviews. They were all so lovely to receive. I'm still astounded by how many reviews I've been getting for this story. I found this chapter pretty hard to write and so that is why it took a little longer than the other chapters. I hope you guys like it.

Chapter 6

Sandy put his hand against the window. The glass barrier, the only thing between him and his son.

After the phone call with Mike, there had been a mad frenzy to the hospital.

In that time, Sandy hadn't really thought, in detail, about what he'd see when he'd finally lay eyes on Ryan.

He hadn't been able to prepare himself for what he was going to see.

He'd been expecting bruises, possibly many bruises or maybe a few cuts.

But this? This was so much worse.

The doctors had told them that Ryan hadn't been given enough food or drink. He was severely dehydrated and painfully thin. His face was pale and accentuated with his cheek bones. Black circles stood out under his eyes, the tell tale sign that he hadn't been able to sleep in a long time.

His pale arms were bruised and scratched.

Sandy shook his head, not wanting to see any more. He took a deep breath, trying to stop himself from shaking.

He took another step closer to the door, trying to slow his beating heart.

His hand shook as he used it to turn the handle of the door.

He had to do this, he had to be there for Ryan. He wished that Seth hadn't run off and Kirsten hadn't gone after him. They'd all been shocked by Ryan's appearance and to be honest, Sandy had felt like running away himself. But he couldn't. He had to be there for his son.

God, he didn't want to have to do this alone.

He pushed open the door and then there was nothing between him and his son. The son who, for almost months now, they had been longing for news on.

Once the glass barrier had gone, he found a new urge take over him. Suddenly, he couldn't get to Ryan quick enough.

He hurried over to the bed and looked down at the sleeping form.

"Oh God, Ryan." He whispered.

He picked up Ryan's hand in his and looked at the limp fingers. His nails were jagged and it looked like he'd been scratching on something. He needed to talk with the police again. He hadn't really been listening the first time, his mind had been too busy on the fact that he'd finally be able to see Ryan again.

His heart leapt as he thought of the possibilities of what Ryan could have been forced to go through while he had been imprisoned.

All Sandy had worked out, from the bits and pieces of information from the police that he had actually listened too, was that Ryan had been found on the side of a road, not far from Newport. He'd been found conscious by a passerby but had been in such a state when the paramedics arrived that they had sedated him.

He ran his other hand down Ryan's face, tracing the outline of his cheek bone.

He was shocked by his appearance. He'd never seen anyone look so thin or fragile. He'd have never thought, all those weeks ago when life was perfect and the only worries had been work and whether Ryan was fitting in at Harbor, that he'd ever put Ryan and fragile in the same sentence. He had always been so strong and pretty much the complete opposite to what he was now.

"Ryan?" he whispered.

He had to keep hold of him; he didn't want Ryan to suddenly disappear as he had in so many of Sandy's dreams.

He sat down in a chair positioned by the bed, keeping his hand in Ryan's. He knew he would not allow himself to be moved from that place until Ryan woke up.

He longed to hear the sound of Ryan's voice.

It was like he was looking at a shell, the shell of someone who had only just begun not flinching whenever Sandy patted his arm or brushed him by accident.

He didn't want to think how much this whole situation could have affected Ryan. He stroked back a piece of hair that had fallen onto Ryan's forehead.

A sound from the doorway made him turn around and Kirsten appeared, leading Seth in with her.

Her blue eyes were watching Ryan intently and Sandy watched as she approached the bed, almost hesitantly.

Sandy kept his hand over Ryan's and turned back to watch him, waiting for any sign of him waking up.

Ryan's face remained impassive and Sandy remembered the doctor's words that Ryan wouldn't be waking up for awhile. The doctor had tried to get them to go home saying that the hospital would call them if there were any changes in Ryan's condition, but Sandy's glare had shut him up. The man had obviously not been faced with a missing child. Sandy briefly wondered if the man even had kids. He couldn't imagine anyone leaving their child, so ill or in pain, in hospital by themselves.

All they could so was wait for the sedative to wear off and for Ryan to be ready to open his eyes.

Sandy wasn't about to leave the kid alone. Ryan had been alone for so long already and he didn't deserve to wake up to find nurses sitting with him instead of the people who were supposed to be there for him no matter what.

xxx

Sandy watched the sunset outside of the window, distractedly. His hand was still in Ryan's small bruised one, although now it was warm and sticky after hours of the same contact.

Kirsten and Seth were sitting quietly to the side. Kirsten's eyes were still watching Ryan, waiting for any sign of movement. Seth was doing some French homework although when Sandy looked at his page, all Seth had managed to do was a few lines. Like his parents he couldn't seem to stop watching Ryan.

As the sun sunk lower and lower down the sky, Sandy felt a slight twitch in his hand.

He spun around to face Ryan and saw a faint frown on the kid's face.

"Ryan?" he called quietly, trying to keep his voice calm.

A small sound escaped Ryan's lips and Sandy leant in closer.

"You're okay, Ryan. We're here. You're safe here." he couldn't be sure as to how much Ryan could hear but he wanted Ryan to know he was safe. He needed Ryan to know that he was safe.

The steady beeping of the heart monitor began to pick up speed as Ryan's body began to curl up on itself.

"Hey Ryan. Listen to me kid, you're safe. I'm here and so are Kirsten and Seth. We're here. I promise that you're safe."

Two blue eyes cracked open and Sandy felt like his heart was going to burst from his chest at what he saw.

Ryan's eyes were misted over, a mixture of confusion and fear filled the blue of his eyes.

Sandy could only rub Ryan's arm gently and whisper reassurances to him as Ryan flinched away from him.

He looked over at Kirsten and Seth who were both standing, looking terrified.

A whimpering sound startled Sandy and he looked down at Ryan's now writhing form.

As the nurses swarmed in, in reaction to the now rapidly beeping heart monitor, Sandy could only watch in sadness and fear as the shell of his son, too weak to fight the nurses, tried in vain to defend himself.

tbc…

Thanks for reading.


	7. Chapter 7

I do love writing this story and am glad people also seem to be enjoying it. I can't seem to stop writing it. Thanks once again for the wonderful reviews. Here is chapter 7, I hope you like it.

Chapter 7

Sandy was fuming.

He'd just come out from a meeting with the police and he swore he could almost see red, he was so angry.

"Sandy?" he felt Kirsten's soft hand on his back. As was the normal lately, tears were falling freely down her face.

"Just go home, Kirsten. I'll look after Ryan today." he forced himself to keep calm, not wanting to cause a scene but needing her to go home. He couldn't face her right now. Not after what her father had done.

"Sandy… I didn't know." she whispered but he didn't pay her any attention and merely shrugged her off, hurrying off to be with his son.

He couldn't believe this.

All that time they'd been looking for Ryan, all the worries and terrors they had had to deal with, only to find out the man who had planned the whole thing, had been right under their noses.

All he knew was that the next time he saw Caleb Nichol; he was going to give him more than a broken nose.

All of the pain and fear that his son had been forced to undergo was to do with **that **man.

He breathed in deeply, there was no way he could face Ryan this way. The kid could barely bear being spoken to these days. He'd curl up into a ball if anyone came too close.

Sandy was treating it like he always did. He stayed with Ryan and spoke softly to him. Kirsten and Seth usually sat in the corner. Sometimes, Seth would take up the steady commentary when he sensed Sandy's voice getting too tired but Kirsten never said anything.

He just needed some time with Ryan to himself. Ryan had begun to respond a little, he would no longer go into a panic attack if anyone touched him. He would no longer whimper whenever anyone got too close. He'd generally just watch whoever was talking with wary eyes.

There was still a long way to go, but Sandy was determined to get through to him and let him know that they were there for him.

He pushed open the door and watched as Ryan snapped his head up to see who had entered.

Sandy was pleased when he merely watched as he entered. He didn't smile or show any emotion in his face, he just watched Sandy passively.

Sandy resumed his usual position, not too close but not too far away from Ryan. He could feel Ryan watching his every movement.

Ryan wasn't sleeping well, or so the doctors said. They had to give him a sleeping pill every night or else he'd just stay up, all night. A psychotherapist had been to see him a few times, but he had yet to speak to the poor man. He also suffered terrible nightmares and he'd had to be restrained more than once.

He was always in a right state in the mornings and all it took was a look at the frazzled nurse on duty to know what had been going on.

As a result, Ryan's wrists were red and bruised. But he didn't seem to notice the additional pain.

Sandy was beginning to get more and more worried as the days went by.

He'd almost shouted at the police officer that morning. The bearded officer had told them that a Mr Caleb Nichol had been arrested on suspicion of the planning of Ryan's kidnap. As a lawyer, Sandy knew that he wouldn't go to prison as long as the people that had actually kidnapped Ryan and that thought angered him even more.

That man had been paying people to capture his son and hurt him. He felt a ball of anger rise in him again.

Only one of the men that had been hurting Ryan had been captured and he had only given Caleb's name. He hadn't given any information on the other kidnappers. Sandy had seen the picture of the man in a newspaper and had been shocked by how rough and terrifying he looked.

He didn't want to imagine Ryan in the hands of that man.

He noticed that Ryan was still watching him and he began to speak softly to him.

He tried to keep up a happy front, not wanting to further frighten Ryan into his shell. He tried to swallow his anger. He assumed Kirsten had followed his order and had gone home as there was no sign of her when he glanced out through the glass door.

He tried not to wince at the sight of Ryan's bruises as he spoke. He was still wickedly pale and it deeply accentuated the bruises. He was still showing signs of dehydration and his lips looked sore and cracked.

The doctors had spoken to him about all the evidence that had arisen about what Ryan had been through. There were deep cuts on his stomach where there were signs that Ryan had been teased with by a knife. There were marks and rope burns on his ankles from where the kid had obviously been tied up. The more Sandy was learning about what had happened, the more anger he felt for his father in law.

There was no reason for Caleb to hate Ryan so much. The kid hadn't done anything to him besides provide a new son for his daughter and save his daughter's relationship with her family.

They'd been told that when the psyche consult had cleared Ryan, they could take him home. That thought kept Sandy going. He longed to have Ryan back where they could have him in the same building. Where they weren't given a time between certain hours when they were actually allowed to see him.

His only worry was how Ryan would react to going back home. Sandy knew that Kirsten still drank when she felt especially lonely and judging by the way he had spoken to her, Sandy was certain that she was probably drinking at that precise moment in time. He was worried how Ryan would take that.

Seth had been unusually quiet recently. Instead of his usual banter he would lie on his bed, when he wasn't at the hospital, and mope, with Captain Oats locked in his hands.

The future was uncertain and Sandy could only hope and pray that one day they could help Ryan get back to his old self and become once again the family that they used to be…

To be continued…

Thanks for reading and a special congratulations to ChrisUSA who actually managed to guess that Caleb was the man who arranged the kidnapping. Either this story is incredibly predictable or ChrisUSA is psychic.


	8. Chapter 8

Thanks again for all the wonderful reviews. Again, a rather melodramatic chapter :P

Chapter 8

Sandy watched at the doorway as Ryan sat down on the edge of his bed. They'd decided to keep him in the guest room in the main house rather than the pool house. All three of them needed him close by, at least for now.

If Ryan had been quiet before, he was practically mute now. Sandy would often walk into a room to find him just standing by the window, staring out at the world.

They just couldn't get him to talk. Every time he saw one of them approaching, he'd look down at the floor and would reply to questions with only a shrug.

As he was watching now, Ryan didn't know he was there. Sandy saw him put his head in his hands, the cuts on his arms visible and taunting him. He watched as Ryan sighed deeply and ran swollen fingers through his blonde hair.

He looked so miserable, so alone and all Sandy wanted was to hold Ryan in his arms and not let anyone else touch him.

He knocked quietly on the door and Ryan jumped, looking around hurriedly to see who it was.

"Hey kid," Ryan gave no acknowledgement but Sandy moved further into the room. The blue eyes followed him as he moved closer.

Sandy sat down in Ryan's vacated desk chair. He used to do that all the time when Ryan used to sleep in the pool house. Well, the chair in the pool house wasn't a desk chair but the principal was the same. He used to get a roll of the eyes or a little grin. Sandy could tell that Ryan used to like their little conversations even if they were mostly one sided on Sandy's behalf.

Growing up without a father, Sandy knew what it was like to not have a father figure to look up too. He used to feel like he was filling that little part of Ryan's life that was missing. Now, whenever he was around Ryan he just thought that he was making everything worse.

Sandy cleared his throat slightly.

"So, I feel we haven't spoken in a while." he began, trying to keep the atmosphere light.

He watched as Ryan turned away from him and stared out of the window instead.

Sandy wondered briefly what he saw when he looked out. It could have been a way of signalling that he wasn't going to talk but Sandy had a feeling it was something more than that.

"Kirsten's just gone out to get a movie for us tonight. Unfortunately she won the coin toss, so we'll be subjected to another night of chick flick drama. She's getting pretty good at coin tosses, I swear she must practise in her free time…" Sandy muttered, wondering if it was his nerves making him ramble like Seth.

Although, he hadn't missed the way Ryan flinched though when he'd mentioned "coin tosses."

He was about to continue speaking when he heard the strange, now almost alien noise of Ryan's, slightly scratchy from lack of use, voice.

"I wasn't allowed to see the sun… or the waves." the eyes were still focussed outside of the window and Sandy had to bite his lip not to say something. He had to give Ryan time to let the words out without him interrupting.

"Sometimes I wasn't even allowed the light on. It was so dark and quiet when they did that… I could only hear the rats."

Sandy was glad he was sitting down, he gripped the arm rest of the chair, clinging on for dear life.

Ryan's focus shifted and he looked down at his swollen fingers. "I don't like rats." he said as an almost explanation. Sandy suddenly felt sick. His fingers had shown signs that he'd been scratching something and it made Sandy shudder at the fact that he could have been trying to scratch himself out, to get away from the other occupants of the room.

Ryan's voice was eerie, a little too calm. It sounded like he was almost under a trance.

Slowly, Ryan's head turned in his direction and Sandy could see the deep set purple under his eyes. They could hear him in the night, his bed creaking as he tossed and turned. They could hear him giving up and quietly padding past their bedroom as he went downstairs. They'd find him in the morning, in the living room, watching TV.

The eyes now looking at Sandy, almost seemed to be searching for his reaction.

Sandy cleared his throat nervously.

"You're safe now," he whispered and Ryan looked away again.

"I promise you, I will do everything in my power to keep you safe." Sandy needed Ryan to understand. He would not allow himself to fail Ryan again.

Ryan gave a little shrug. The room went silent and it was obvious that Ryan was done talking for a while.

Sandy was about to say something else when the sound of the front door opening and Kirsten calling out that she was home, broke up the tension.

"Thank you for talking to me Ryan. If you ever want to say anything else, no matter how small, just… you can trust me." Ryan ducked his head and for a moment it felt like the old days, when Ryan would duck his head at the slightest bit of praise. However this was different, Sandy hadn't given him praise, he had only offered to listen.

He decided to break the thick tension that had quickly built up again in the air.

"Let's go downstairs, see which chick flick Kirsten has picked out." he smiled sadly at Ryan hut the kid was turned the other way and didn't see it.

He stood up "You coming?" he asked and Ryan gave a slight nod, before also getting up.

What Sandy didn't tell Ryan was that all three of them had decided Kirsten's choice would be the safest option seeing as Seth's action films were at risk of sparking up bad memories for Ryan. Sandy knew if he was the one choosing, he'd also probably choose the most inappropriate movie by accident.

They didn't want to further upset Ryan into his shell.

He wasn't looking forward to telling Kirsten what Ryan had told him. He decided that conversation would best be had when they were in bed so that Kirsten wouldn't feel like she was walking on egg shells around Ryan as Sandy was sure he himself would be.

tbc…

Thanks for reading.


	9. Chapter 9

Hi,

So this chapter is from a different angle as in, it's not from Sandy's POV. I really hope you guys like it. I'm hoping to get the next chapter up by the end of the week. Plus, I have a week off next week so should be able to post a few more chapters next week.

Thanks for all your amazing comments. I am so near 100 comments! I can't believe how generous you guys are. I hope everyone's been getting their replies. I really appreciate every single one :)

Chapter 9

If anyone was sitting around on the benches, situated around the police station, they would have heard the clicking of Kirsten's heels on the hard floor as she determinedly made her way to the front desk.

Her blonde hair was tied back in a messy pony tail and her face looked firm, it was obvious she was not someone to mess with right now.

Inside, she was angry, so angry and she didn't know quite why she'd come. Sandy had certainly tried to stop her but she'd stayed firm and so she was here, marching through the entrance area.

"Hi, my name's Kirsten Cohen. I'm here to visit my father… Caleb Nichol," she tried not to spit out the name and to keep the venom out of her voice. She smiled at the stressed out looking man in front of her and hoped that it didn't come across to look too fake. She didn't want to be turned away because they thought she was going to cause problems. She'd planned out everything she was going to say and had practiced it over and over to a rather frazzled Sandy.

She had to do this; her father shouldn't be able to get away with what he had done. Ryan was merely the shell of who he used to be. He rarely spoke to anyone other than Sandy and Kirsten needed her dad to know that she was not going to let him get away with this.

She'd checked to see when visiting times were and knew that right now her father, who was used to her forgiving him for everything, would now be waiting behind a glass window for her.

She followed a chubby looking guard through a rather dull, grey corridor and tried to keep her face blank and her emotions calm as she was catcalled by various inmates.

Her father was so going to pay for this, for all of this.

The guard led her into a little room. "Thanks," she whispered as he stepped to the side to give her the illusion of privacy.

She didn't look at her dad at first. She looked past him to the guard on that side of the glass. She didn't want to meet the eyes of the man who arranged the kidnap of her son.

When her eyes did stray over to him, she saw a small, balding, frail looking man. She frowned and slowly picked up the receiver. He was already holding his to his ear.

"Kiki…" he began

"Don't call me that." she snapped and took a little bit of satisfaction at the way he recoiled at the tone of her voice.

Suddenly all the she had planned, all that she had recited to Sandy was gone. She peeled her eyes away from him and looked down at a stain that was on her jeans. She rubbed at it absentmindedly.

"Kirsten…" he tried again but again she cut him off.

"I can't believe you," she snarled and he bowed his head, nervously.

"Look, I..."

"No, I don't want to hear it. I'm the one that's going to do the talking. How could… how dare you try and rip apart my family. What the hell did Ryan ever do to you?" her blue eyes pierced his grey head.

He further slouched in his chair. She took his silence as a cue to continue.

"Do you know the torture they put him through? Did you plan it with them? Did you plan to cause Ryan to lose so much weight that he looks like a walking skeleton? He was living with rats dad, rats!" Her words tumbled over each other and she stared at the crown of his head.

Her voice was rising and she felt the guard coming in closer behind her.

"What were you thinking? Don't you think Ryan's been though enough in his life?"

"Kirsten…"

"Don't _Kirsten_ me! You have no right to try and justify your actions. You're lucky that you're in here, Sandy's all set to put you in the hospital and these glass windows and you cell's bars are the only things that are stopping him." she felt a new ball of fury when she felt the tears welling up in her eyes.

"Kirsten! Listen to me… I didn't think they'd hurt him that much." Caleb said in vain, trying to defend himself

"So what, you thought that you'd get some burly gang members to nicely steal my son from me, lock him in a room and expect them to not hurt him. Oh God…. why am I even here? Everything is always about you. If something doesn't sit right with you, you'll do anything to have that thing removed. I just can't believe you'd sink this low." She hissed the words at him and a solid glare remained on her face.

She looked at him and was stricken by the anger she saw in his face.

"He's not your son, Kirsten! Seth is your son."

It took a moment for Kirsten to react, she just sat in a shocked silence, her face reddening with anger.

She didn't offer a response and when she was able to release herself from her shock, she slammed the receiver down and stood up.

She watched Caleb shouting at her from the other side of the glass, but couldn't hear what he was saying. She merely turned around and signalled to the guard to let her out.

It wasn't till she was out in the corridor that she allowed the tears to fall. She could feel her rage bubbling through her.

The guard waited patiently for her to gain control and looked away as she hastily brought a tissue out from her bag and rubbed it over her face.

She couldn't believe how selfish her dad was. She felt like screaming.

xxx

Outside of the jail, Kirsten got into her car. She waited a few minutes without starting the engine, trying to make herself calm.

She shook her head in disbelief at what her father had bellowed at her. There was no reason for her father's random hatred of Ryan. At first she'd just seen her dad's hostility to Ryan as purely disapproval like all of the other bobble heads in Newport but this was clearly much more than disapproval.

She tried to calm her trembling hands.

She jumped slightly when her phone suddenly vibrated in her pocket.

"Hello?" she said, trying to keep the tears from her voice.

"Hi honey, how did it go?" the sound of Sandy's voice made her smile weakly and she sniffed, trying to keep control of her emotions.

"I'm coming home," she said quietly and she heard him sigh in response to the sadness in her voice.

"What did he say?" he asked, Kirsten felt her resolve melting from the concern and gentleness in his voice.

It took all of her will to stop herself from sobbing down the phone. "I'll tell you when I see you." she practically whispered.

"Okay honey, I love you and I'll see you in a few minutes."

"I love you."

She hung up the phone and stared at it a moment. She could picture Sandy, in their bedroom doing the same thing. She didn't know how Sandy would react to what her dad had said. She knew that he'd be angry and she was glad her dad was in jail. She didn't mind her dad getting punched, frankly she'd like to give him a good, hard slap, but she wouldn't be able to bear it if Sandy got in trouble.

Their family was barely making it through this whole ordeal altogether, let alone if Sandy wasn't there.

As she started her car and drove out of the parking lot, all she could think about was what her dad had said. She needed to talk to Ryan alone, there was a feeling of anxiety and unease settling in on her of what those men could have said to Ryan. She knew that Ryan had always worried about his place in the family and she'd been noticing how distant he had seemed since he had come home with her.

She'd thought it had been to do with the kidnapping but now she was worried that the reason was deeper than that.

tbc…


	10. Chapter 10

Hi,

Yay! I just about made it before the end if the week. Thank you all so much for my reviews. I have never received 100 reviews before and am so flattered that you're all so wiling to share your thoughts with me.

A quick warning, this chapter is darker. I hope I don't upset anyone too much with the ending. If I do, I sincerely apologise.

Anyway, before I give away what happens, I really hope you enjoy.

Chapter 10

Ryan lay on his bed, his face sheltered in the crook of his elbow. He could faintly hear Kirsten and Sandy talking together downstairs. He wanted to go down and get a glass of water but hated the way that they always stopped talking the moment he entered a room.

They kept wanting him to open up and talk to them about what had happened but he just couldn't. He didn't want them to know what had happened to him. He didn't want them to know how screwed up he felt inside.

Whenever he tried to sleep, the men's faces would return to him but he was having trouble fending off sleep. His eyes were so tired and it felt like his head was constantly aching. Sandy kept trying to get him to eat but food was the last thing on his mind.

He hadn't received much food whilst he was locked in that room. He hadn't had much water either. The men seemed to like it when he was weak. They certainly loved to hear him begging for help.

Sandy had told him that one of the men was in custody. Ryan didn't know if that was such a good thing. What if the other two thought he had ratted them out? Whenever the police came to talk to him, he'd try to be as vague as possible. He knew what the consequences would be if he gave any of the men away. They'd made the consequences perfectly clear to him before they had dumped him by the side of the road.

He heard footsteps on the stairs and hoped beyond hope that they'd pass him by. He really wasn't in the mood for any more talking. He sighed when he heard his door open.

"Hi Honey," he lifted his arm and looked up as Kirsten entered.

The sound of the men's voices telling him that Kirsten didn't want him, that she'd helped set up the whole thing, filled his ears and he sat up, keeping himself alert. He hadn't believed them at first but she'd been acting off with him since he'd come back and now he wasn't so sure.

He just hoped that she wasn't part of a sudden plan to take him back, that a car wasn't parked outside waiting to take him back. He didn't think he could stand going back there.

He flinched as she sat down on the bed beside him. She was probably coming closer so that Sandy wouldn't hear her telling him to get lost.

He looked at her through the corner of his eyes when she sighed. He was struck by how sad her eyes looked.

"I saw my dad today," Ryan didn't know how to respond, he continued watching her, waiting for her to continue.

"I am so sorry Ryan," Oh God, Ryan dreaded to think what she was about to say.

His thoughts were filled with worries. Was she about to break the news that she didn't want him anymore?

"I didn't know…" he was shocked to hear the emotion and tears in her voice.

"I promise… I would have tried to protect you if I'd known. I didn't know how much he didn't want you around."

Ryan frowned. "What?" he asked confused.

She looked at him.

They were both silent for a few minutes.

"What did they say to you?" She asked quietly and Ryan looked at her startled, he wasn't ready for this.

He shrugged, looking around the room, anywhere but at her.

"I want you to know that those things, whatever they were, aren't true. I love you and I see you just as much a son to me as Seth is."

Since entering the house, those were the words Ryan had been longing to hear. He moved his eyes to look at her. He just wished the words had been given to him in a different context.

He didn't know what to think. Was she talking seriously? Or was she just saying it to save herself from going to jail for the same thing as Caleb.

He pulled away suddenly as she, without warning, put her arm around him. He moved away from the bed and crossed the room, wrapping his arms around himself.

"Ryan?" Her voice sounded so shocked and surprised. He was so confused, she looked so genuinely upset. He didn't know what to believe.

He was so tired and he couldn't think clearly. He watched as she too stood up and took one last quick look in his direction before hurrying out of the room. He could hear her muffled crying getting quieter and quieter as she got further and further away.

His eyes remained on the now vacated bed and he didn't know what to feel. He put a hand to his head as he felt the tell tale signs of another pounding head ache seizing him once again.

He couldn't take this anymore.

He felt like he was sleep walking.

He couldn't tell what anyone was thinking; he couldn't tell what he himself was thinking. He kept hurting the feelings of everyone around him.

He saw the way Seth looked at him, like he was a complete head case. Whenever he spoke, he sounded like he was talking to a three year old. Ryan missed the way that Seth used to come to the pool house and bore him with stories about Summer along with all that she had been up to that day. He didn't even have the pool house anymore.

He could see the way Sandy would brace himself before coming into the room, the way he'd try and remain his old upbeat self.

He knew they'd all be so much better off without him.

He didn't think he could live in this same skin anymore. Every time he did something, he'd get a sudden flash back of what he'd been through for all that time he'd been locked in the dark.

He could hear the sound of the men howling with laughter and calling heads or tails through the door. He could feel the panic he had felt when the door had slowly opened to reveal who was going to 'play' with him.

He shuddered at the memories, his head pounding all the more.

He could hear the muffled sound of Sandy comforting Kirsten.

At night he could hear them arguing. He could hear them arguing about him.

He was ruining their relationship.

All the time he'd been locked up, he'd been holding on to the thought of being back with the Cohens. Now he was back, everything was different.

He wondered, almost in a daze, into the bathroom and locked the door behind him.

He ran the shower, but didn't step inside.

He began looking through the cupboards, his hands shook. Something inside of him was telling him to stop, to go and talk to the Cohens about how he was feeling but he knew they wouldn't understand.

His hand met with a shaving blade, he seized it and pulled it out of the overflowing cupboard.

He looked at it, the metal gleaming, daring him to proceed.

He knew the Cohens would be better off without him.

He sat on the floor, ashamed by the tears that were running down his cheeks.

As the blade sliced through is skin, he shuddered at the feeling of nausea that rose through him.

He was doing this for the Cohens. They'd done so much for him and lately it seemed he was throwing it all back into their faces.

He sat quietly as everything began to grey out. He clenched his jaw to stop himself from screaming out for Sandy.

He just hoped that his blood on the tiles wouldn't be too difficult for Rosa to clean up...

tbc…

:D Oh the melodrama!


	11. Chapter 11

Hi guys,

I'm so worried about this chapter :S

I found it a real struggle to finish and the muses began giving me other stories to write instead. However, I have finished and I will stop tampering with it now. I hope you guys like it.

Chapter 11

Sandy frowned and paused by Ryan's closed bedroom door. It was an odd time to be having a shower.

He knocked tentatively on the door.

Sandy opened the door. "Ryan!" he called out as he stepped in.

The bathroom door was closed.

He felt a strange feeling inside of him as he stepped forward into the room. The sound of the shower running echoed through his head.

The feeling inside of him rose as he stepped closer to the bathroom and knocked on the door.

"Ryan!" he called through the door. "Kid, are you okay?"

There was no reply and he tried the door knob. It was locked.

"Ryan!" he called again. There was no answer. His hands began to shake as he knocked again.

"What's going on?" He turned to find Kirsten entering the room, munching on an apple. She was watching him curiously.

"I'm not sure." He mumbled and tried the door again in vain.

"Is Ryan in there?" she asked, trying to figure out why he was trying to get into the obviously locked bathroom.

He nodded.

"Something doesn't feel right." He said.

"Ryan, honey, are you alright?" Kirsten called through the door.

He saw her face grow anxious as, like he had, she received no reply.

As the seconds ticked away, the two became even more worried.

Sandy dug into his pocket and retrieved his wallet.

"Plan B," he muttered as he took out his card.

Kirsten rolled her eyes but he ignored her.

"Ryan, we're coming in." He called out as he began fumbling with the card and trying to use it to open the door.

"Why isn't he answering?" Kirsten asked and Sandy could hear the fear in her voice.

It took five minutes for Sandy to open the door and they both burst in.

It took a moment for either of them to react to what they saw when they entered the room. The shower continued to call out for attention and breathed steam out into the room.

Then there was a flurry of activity.

"Kirsten! Call an ambulance!" Sandy ignored the shower and hurried over to the Ryan's side.

His face was wickedly pale and Sandy's stomach turned at the sight of all the blood.

He turned and saw that Kirsten was still standing in the doorway, a hand raised to her mouth and her watery eyes fixed on Ryan.

"Kirsten, go!" he called out to her and she jumped at the sound of his voice.

She nodded slightly and hurried out of the room.

Sandy winced at the sight of Ryan's slashed wrists. The blood was pooling all around him and he grabbed a towel that was hanging on the towel rack.

Ryan's face turned to a grimace slightly as Sandy held the towel onto the gaping wounds and for a moment, Sandy thought he was about to wake up.

"Ryan?" he called.

There was no other response and Sandy shook his head.

"Oh God, kid." He whispered and tried not to think of the blood soaking into his jeans.

He noticed the way Ryan was laying limply against the wall. He looked so weak.

Sandy felt like kicking himself, he should have known something like this was going to happen.

He had been trying so hard to try and get Ryan to open up and talk about what had happened to him. Maybe he had been pushing too hard?

"Dad? What happened?" Seth gasped, standing by the door.

Sandy tried unsuccessfully to block Ryan's body from Seth's view. He didn't want him to have to see this.

He kept the pressure on the towel as Seth came forward.

"They're coming," Kirsten came hurrying back into the room, breathless.

She pushed past Seth and kneeled down by Ryan's side.

"Ryan? You're okay, sweetie. Help's coming," she rubbed his shoulder gently and Sandy noticed the way she made sure not to look at the towels covering Ryan's bleeding wrists.

"He looks so uncomfortable," she whispered, almost to herself.

She gently gathered him into her arms and cradled him, allowing Sandy to still have access to his wrists.

Xxx

Ryan was aware of a throbbing pain in his wrists, it hurt so badly. He wanted to try and move away from the pain but found he couldn't.

He couldn't stop the moan that left his lips. A feeling of panic over took him as he tried again to move.

It seemed he was being held down by something.

A sudden soft feeling brushed against his cheek and he paused in his efforts.

He was so confused and it hurt so much.

He became aware of how cold it was and shivered. He let out another moan as the throbbing in his wrists seemed to worsen. The soft feeling remained on his cheek and he leaned into it, seeking it for warmth.

"Ryan..."

He heard his name being called but it sounded odd and far off.

Then, he felt another pair of hands on him. These weren't soft like the ones that were on his face. He tried to kick out as they turned him onto his side but the hands held strong.

He tried to keep away the thicker darkness that was starting to take over but could feel himself being sucked in.

Xxx

The first thing Ryan was aware of when he woke up was the headache pulsating through his head. He wanted to drift back to sleep, hoping a few more hours in bed would make it go away. He was just settling down but when he tried to turn over he found that the edge of the bed was a lot closer than what he was expecting.

He opened his eyes, confused, and tried to raise a hand to his head. He realised his hands were tied down. He struggled against the bonds holding him down.

Had he been captured again?

The sudden throbbing in his wrists made him wince and his eyes shot open as he remembered what had happened.

He looked around the sterile hospital room and grimaced.

This was not supposed to have happened.

He should have planned it better.

The sound of the door opening made him jump and he snuggled down into the blanket, closing his eyes.

He heard footsteps treading across the room and had to fight the urge to check to see who it was.

The person pulled up a chair to the bed and Ryan had to grind his teeth in order not to flinch away as he felt a soft hand rub his shoulder.

He heard the person sigh and realised it was Sandy.

"I'm so sorry, kid. I can't believe you thought you had to resort to this..." the words were whispered and Ryan felt them slicing into him.

He felt an ache inside of him as he heard the sadness in Sandy's voice as he spoke.

A further stab of pain hit his head and he couldn't stop himself from trying to raise his hand and found himself moaning when he remembered he couldn't.

"Ryan?" Sandy called to him.

He opened his eyes and forced himself to face his foster father.

"Are you okay? Do your wrists hurt?" Ryan winced at the concern in Sandy's voice.

He shook his head slightly and flinched at the pain it caused.

Of course Sandy didn't miss a heartbeat and was immediately on the alert.

"Are you okay? I'd better get a nurse." He quickly got up and Ryan noticed the way he was running on an almost nervous energy.

"I'll be back in a sec."

Ryan watched him leave the room and scanned the room with his eyes.

This was bad. He'd meant to make things better for the Cohens but judging on Sandy, it seemed he had done the opposite. He used to be so good at reading what people were thinking, it had been a trait he had needed for survival in Chino.

He sighed and tried to make himself comfortable but it was almost impossible with his hands tied down. He hoped that they would be taken off soon.

He hesitantly looked at the bandages covering his wrists and frowned sadly. He'd seen people with scars from slashing their wrists before and knew how horrible it was going to look. It would be a constant reminder of how badly things had reached for him and how badly he'd screwed up.

He'd never be able to wear short sleeved tops again.

He grimaced as the door opened and Sandy re-entered followed by the doctor. They both wore grave expressions on their face and Ryan felt himself trying to shrink into the bed.

He knew that whatever they had to say wasn't going to be good.

Tbc...


	12. Chapter 12

Thanks for all the comments. This chapter had a special person in it just for RJMoonspell4. See I told you she was coming :)

Chapter 12

Ryan glared at the nurse before him. She stood, facing him, with her hands on her hips.

He didn't know why he was being forced to stay here and this woman was not helping.

He needed to go to the bathroom and she wouldn't let him go by himself. She couldn't even seem to understand why he was annoyed.

"Look Ryan, for your safety, you have to be within eyesight, 24 hours a day. I won't look, I just need to be there, in the room, in case something happens," her voice was patronising and Ryan felt like screaming at her to be quiet and leave her alone.

Sandy had spent a long time explaining why they were leaving him in this place for a week but Ryan had only agreed so as to placate his foster dad. He'd thought that it would be good for the Cohens to have a little break from all of his issues.

He hadn't known that 24 hour supervision actually meant 24 hour supervision. He couldn't even shower without someone checking on him every five minutes.

He was sick of being watched.

His bladder was screaming at him and he'd held it off for as long as possible. He growled low in his throat before standing up and allowing her to follow him into the bathroom.

Xxx

Seth sat on his bed, going over everything in his head. He couldn't believe how messed up everything was getting.

He heard a quiet knocking on the door and groaned, hoping it wasn't going to be his mom or dad again. He couldn't understand their decision to have Ryan locked up in a psych ward. He'd seen Ryan's face during their goodbyes and he just hoped that this wouldn't make everything even worse.

He was surprised to hear a girl's voice coming in through the door that definitely wasn't his mom's.

"Summer?" he called out and his door opened, revealing the brunette.

"Hey Cohen," she looked slightly nervous and Seth watched as she contemplated whether to move further into the room. "I wanted to see how you were. I heard about Ryan."

Seth nodded sadly. "Yep, Kid Chino has finally lost it," he said sadly and she frowned slightly at his comment.

She came over and sat down on the edge of his bed.

She hesitated for a second before pulling him into a hug.

"Well, I brought a little care package with me," she said pulling away and pasting a smile on to her face. She lifted the bag that she had brought with her onto the bed and Seth peered in.

He chuckled slightly as he recognised Princess Sparkle amongst all the other things littering the bag. He lifted the plastic horse out.

"Hey, she's not for you, she wanted to see how Captain Oats was doing." She admonished with a smile, and Seth chuckled.

He'd missed having her around.

She picked Princess Sparkle out of his grip and moved over to place her next to the Captain on the night stand.

She then began pulling out all the different things that she had brought, talking him through them all.

Seth's eyes widened at the sight of all the books and DVDs that she had brought. All were supposed to help him relax and help him.

Finally, she brought out a photo album that she had decorated the cover of. She handed it to Seth and he opened it gingerly. He was met with the sight of himself, Ryan, Summer and Marissa all smiling and happily hanging out together at the beach.

His heart ached at how laid back Ryan looked. One arm was gently encircled around Marissa's waist and the other was covering his eyes from the sun.

"Where is Marissa now?" he asked and noticed the way she ducked her head sadly.

"She's having dinner with Luke for her birthday. He came back all "knight in shining armour", apologising and she immediately forgave him. She rolled her eyes and turned the page of the photo album to another picture of the four of them smiling.

"This is just something to remember the old times with." She bit her lip nervously and he turned to her.

""It's amazing," he said.

"You're different now, like, not as talkative." Summer commented quietly and Seth shrugged.

"You know if you ever want to talk, I'm here." She took his hand in hers and he watched her with his brown eyes.

He didn't know what made him kiss her. It was just one of those spontaneous things. He hadn't had anyone to talk to for so long. His parents were both too busy with Ryan and Ryan was too busy with his own problems.

She didn't stop him though and soon they were locked together, in their own separate world.

Xxx

Ryan sighed as yet again someone was shouting from down the corridor. The people in here were nuts and they wouldn't let him sleep. The nurses were forever hurrying down the corridor to help one of them.

He put his pillow over head and tried to bite on his lip to hold back the tears.

He should have ended it properly. He should have slit his wrists during the night and then no one would have noticed. The shrink that he had been assigned with was so invasive and would make him do stupid things like using play dough to model people who meant something in his life. She'd then analyse what he had made.

"You've given Mr Cohen large eyebrows, that means he frowns a lot." It felt like she was constantly doing her job out a text book. Although she always got everything wrong with him.

She heard someone coming into the room and knew it was the night nurse coming in to check on him.

He sniffed quietly, the tears escaping.

"Ryan, are you okay?" she asked gently and he felt a hand on his shoulder, gently turning him over.

He couldn't hide the tears and she immediately had the light on, he could see the concerned look on her face.

She paused for a moment, a sympathetic look on her face before she spoke.

"Are you ready to talk?" she asked soothingly and Ryan could feel all the emotion he had been trying to keep down, well up inside of him. All of the humiliation that the kidnappers had put him through, and all the depression he had been unable to escape from since. He couldn't stop the sobs from coming.

He nodded slightly, almost too slight to notice but the nurse sat down in a chair next to the bed. He knew that he had someone here who would listen to him and after he left the hospital, he would probably never see her again.

He desperately wanted to get rid of this oppressive sad feeling that was constantly overwhelming him. He wanted to open up when he was too tired for his brain to tell him to shut up.

TBC...


	13. Chapter 13

Wow that was difficult. Here's another chapter full of drama.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy and thank you for all the reviews you guys left me for the last chapter.

Chapter 13

Anne had been a nurse for many years. She'd seen the lot, bored old men moaning at her, nervous mothers shouting at her, drunken old men throwing up on her, she'd seen everything. However nothing could have prepared herself for this night.

She was fairly new to the psych ward and so had only been assigned to a few patients.

That night it was chaotic in the ward. It was one disturbance after the other. She wasn't supposed to be on duty but it had been so hectic that she had been called in. Her husband was not amused but she couldn't bring herself to say no, especially after hearing Martha's flustered voice on the phone.

Whilst most of the nurses were assigned to helping the men who were causing the trouble, she was in charge of checking to see if the other patients were alright.

She quietly opened each door of each patient. She was about to give the go ahead that they were all alright when she heard a muffled sob coming from the room across the way.

She frowned, the sign outside the door read "Ryan Atwood." He must have been pretending to be asleep when she'd checked. She remembered Martha mentioning that something awful had happened to him. Another sob brought her across the hallway and she turned the door handle, quietly.

She could feel her heart constricting at the sight before her. He was huddled into a little ball and was shaking slightly.

"Ryan, are you okay?" she asked gently, moving further into the room and putting a carefully controlled hand on his shoulder.

She gently rolled him over and she frowned at the tears that were rolling down his cheeks. Martha had said that he was having trouble talking about what had happened and showing his emotions. This was definitely a show of emotions.

She turned on the bed side lamp and he squinted up at her.

"Are you ready to talk?" she asked gently.

She sat down in the chair, trying not to be too intimidating and gave a soft smile when he nodded. It had only been a slight nod but it was a nod nonetheless.

She could see him physically bracing himself and it was obvious how scared he was.

"Just take your time Ryan, I'll stay with you, you're not alone."

He opened his mouth a couple of times and she waited for him to gather enough courage. Her eyes flittered to the bandages that covered his wrists and her breath caught in her throat.

"I…" he started and she held her breath, seeing whether he would continue. She wasn't a shrink, she was a nurse but right now this kid just needed someone to listen.

She saw his sweat soaked bangs and her fingers itched to brush them away from his face but she didn't want to risk physical contact.

"I don't like it here." he stated, swallowing thickly when he had finished.

She continued to wait for him to speak.

"It reminds me of there…" he broke away, his eyes roaming around the ceiling.

"Where, Ryan?" she asked quietly.

His eyes turned to her confused.

"The… the room they kept me in. I couldn't get out and there was always lots of shouting outside."

She frowned; Martha hadn't told her anything about this.

"Tell me more about the room." she prompted, trying to keep him talking.

He paused and she thought for a moment that she'd pushed too far and he wasn't going to continue.

"It was so dark and there were no windows. They didn't want me to be found. It was too dark for me to find my way out. The light would only come on when they came in. I could hear rustling in the dark and I couldn't move away from the rats." he shuddered at the memory and Anne found herself shuddering with him. His words were coming out quickly and slightly jumbled.

"They'd only come in one at a time and I could hear them flipping a coin or gambling before they came in. The one with glasses wasn't as bad as the others. He used to bring a piece of bread in with him but he was the touchy feely one. He'd come in the least, I used to long for him to come… I was so hungry but then I'd feel awful afterwards."

His voice was thick with the tears that were creeping down his face.

Anne felt herself cringing inside.

"The worst one had a beard. He… he liked me to beg but would hurt me anyway. He'd come in the most… I guess he was the best gambler."

"How many men were there?" she asked.

"I don't know. New ones would come in all the time. One of them told me that Kirsten had planned it all and that she wanted me gone. I didn't want to believe him… but I mean… how did he know her name?" his voice shook.

Anne had seen Kirsten or "Mrs Cohen" coming into the hospital to visit. She could always be seen calming her composure before going into his room and then crying into her husband's chest afterwards. She was polite to the staff and everyone respected her. She couldn't even imagine her arranging all this evil to happen to Ryan.

"Ryan, look at me. I have seen Kirsten coming in and out of the hospital. She doesn't look the type to arrange this sort of thing. Sometimes men like that say those sorts of things on purpose to upset you."

Ryan looked at her and she could feel his eyes burning into her.

"I think it would be easier if I just disappeared out of the Cohens' lives." he hesitated and Anne could see fresh tears running down his cheeks. It was clear sensitive this topic was for him.

"Is that why you tried to kill yourself?" It was really just her thinking out loud and she immediately regretted it. She winced as his head shot up in surprise.

She frowned when he nodded slightly, avoiding her glance.

"It's just… I cause so many problems. I have always caused problems, ever since I started living with them." He choked back a sob and she took his hand gently.

"I'm sure they don't think that. I can see every day how much they care about you." she felt him grip her hand tighter as he fought against his tears.

They both sat in silence, neither saying anything more. She sat with him till he finally fell asleep.

xxx

When Kirsten and Sandy came into the hospital the following day, they were surprised to be greeted by a woman that they had really only seen fleetingly before.

They were ushered into a small office, where Ryan's doctor was waiting. The nurse stayed in the room with them and Kirsten noticed how exhausted she looked.

"Good morning Mr and Mrs Cohen." The doctor smiled at them and shook their hands.

They politely returned the greeting and sat down across from her.

"I have some excellent news for you to begin the day with. Ryan made some outstanding progress last night with Anne here. He told her a lot about what happened while he was kidnapped and why he resorted to hurting himself."

Kirsten felt her eyes widening in surprise.

"What did he say?" she asked, fearing the answer.

The doctor smiled at her. "I'll leave you with Anne while I go on my rounds. Anna isn't his doctor but there is still some patient confidentiality involved. She'll tell you what you can."

She got up and nodded at Anna to come forwards.

xxx

Ryan was so tired.

He couldn't believe how much he had revealed to that nurse the night before. He felt embarrassed by how much emotion he had let out whilst talking to her. His father would have beaten him black and blue if he had known.

He looked at the clock on the wall and saw that his shrink was late. Maybe the nurse had spoken to her. He stretched out in his bed; it was nice to get a lie in.

He wondered when the Cohens would be arriving today. He was worried that the nurse would tell them the real reason why he had hurt himself.

He didn't know how he was going to face them.

He leant his head back and closed his eyes. He wanted to get rid of the growing pit of anxiety settling in his stomach.

tbc…

Thanks for reading :)


	14. Chapter 14

Warning: This chapter contains lots of mush and a dash of angst.

Thanks so much for all the reviews. I'm sorry I didn't get to reply to them all but I've been bogged down by work. Please don't feel that I don't appreciate them because I really do.

We're nearing the end guys. After this chapter we have two more chapters and then an epilogue. It's really sad (at least for me) but I'm reaching the end of my plan :( and I've already stretched it out as it is.

Chapter 14

Summer was laying her head on Seth's shoulder and watching cheesy cartoons when the phone rang. It had taken a few moments for Seth to actually gather the energy until he was able to remove himself from under her, and grab the phone that was wailing away on the coffee table.

Summer muted the TV and watched him lazily as he answered the phone. She'd been over a lot lately, now that she was back together with Seth, she never left his side. She was trying her hardest to be there for him and to stick with him during all of this. She grimaced as her gaze flittered over the pile of last night's dinner. She shook her head and returned her attention back to Seth.

She immediately perked up when she saw the expression on Seth's face turn from tired to awake, his eyes widening.

"Okay dad, I'll be right there." he said before hanging up the phone.

"We have to get to the hospital." he managed before hurrying off to collect his shoes.

Summer sprang up from the sofa. "Is Ryan okay?"

"Yeah he's fine, we just need to go, now." he said, jumping around on one leg to put his shoe on. "I'll tell you more on the way there."

She nodded and began looking around for her shoes.

xxx

Ryan picked nervously at a loose thread in the blanket covering his legs, avoiding Sandy and Kirsten's eyes. There was an awkward air surrounding them, taunting them.

Sandy didn't like awkward silences and he felt angry with himself for not being able to relieve the quietness around them. He was usually so good at filling in gaps in conversation.

He racked his brain for something to talk about, it shouldn't be that hard.

Bingo.

"Oh, Seth's on his way. I'm sure he's probably bringing Summer with him, the two are almost inseparable these days,"

Ryan looked up at him and gave a small nod.

He sat up straighter in his bed and Sandy immediately leaned forwards towards him, concerned.

"Are you comfortable? Would you like any water?" Ryan shook his head and settled down again. Sandy leant back in his chair, embarrassed, and began again the process of thinking what to say

"I have some good news. The doctors say you're doing so well that they're thinking of releasing you later this week." he smiled as Ryan perked up at that. Truth be told, he and Kirsten were planning on having Seth there when they told Ryan this, but he was pleased he'd said it by the look on Ryan's face.

Kirsten gave him a small frown before relaxing her face into a smile and continuing for him. "You'll still need to go to therapy but we feel you'll be better off living at home and working with the therapist as an out-patient."

She rubbed a soft hand on his knee and was pleased that the flinch she received wasn't as sudden as usual.

A soft smile played on Ryan's lips and Sandy grinned at him.

The smile suddenly froze on Ryan's lips and Sandy frowned, confused at the sudden change.

"I thought you didn't want me to come home." Sandy felt a chill run through him. It was a statement not a question and he directed it straight at Kirsten.

She looked up at him, her eyes wide in shock. It wasn't like Ryan to say something so bluntly like that.

He watched her with two cautious eyes and she wavered under their gaze.

Sandy could see the tell tale signs of her eyes filling with tears.

"Kid, we talked about this. That man was lying. We both want you to be a part of this family. We love you, just as much as we love Seth." He spoke slowly and moved so that Ryan's eyes were on him.

Ryan shook his head slightly and he took a quick glance behind Sandy at Kirsten. It was clear that Sandy was not the person he needed to hear this from.

He moved aside a little to give her room. "Right, Kirsten?" he prompted.

"Right, of course. I promise you Ryan, there is no way we wouldn't want you to come home." her words were choked and they made Ryan look even more confused.

"But I'm trouble. All I do is bring trouble to you." he looked between Sandy and Kirsten and they frowned.

"What was the last bit of trouble you brought us? Cos' kid, I don't even remember what it was." Sandy asked making sure that Ryan was listening.

Ryan gave him a strange look. "The kidnapping." he stated and Sandy shook his head.

"Kid, that wasn't your fault. Unless you asked to be kidnapped?" his attempt at humour failed and Kirsten gave him a small glare before resuming her attention on Ryan.

"Ryan, like Sandy said. The kidnapping was not your fault. It was my father's fault and the men's faults for listening to him and carrying what he was saying out."

Ryan watched the two of them with thoughtful eyes.

There was a pause and for a minute, Sandy thought that maybe Ryan finally understood.

"I burnt down your model home." Another statement and Sandy looked at Kirsten, flustered.

"That's in the past, kid. Plus, I seem to remember that Luke was involved and I wouldn't be surprised if it was more Luke's fault that yours." he shook his head, that may have got Caleb riled but he and Kirsten had gotten over that little incident a long time ago.

Ryan shrugged and looked away.

"Ryan, do you trust us?" Sandy looked at Kirsten, shocked. He couldn't believe that she'd uttered the words he'd been trying to keep at the back of his mind. Of course Ryan trusted them, didn't he?

Ryan looked nervous under the spotlight and began squirming in the bed.

Sandy noticed the bones that clearly stood out under his pale skin. They'd managed to improve Ryan's weight but he was still so thin and always looked so frail, totally unlike the Ryan that he used to watch chasing a football down the pitch.

"Do you?" Kirsten prompted and Sandy noticed Ryan's breathing start to escalate and he began shaking slightly.

Kirsten moved closer to him.

"Have we ever given you a reason not for you not to trust us?" She asked and lifted his chin up, so he was forced to look at her.

"No," he said quietly and she nodded.

"I promise you that you can trust us. We love you. I'm sorry that we haven't told you that enough, but you know we're not the mushiest family in the world." he smiled and Sandy gave his wife a mental pat on the back.

He came forward as well. "There is nothing you could do that would make us want you to leave. You're part of this family now, through all the good times as well as the bad times." he rubbed Ryan's shoulder.

Ryan ducked his head, embarrassedly.

"We're here!" The three looked around to see Seth barging into the room, followed by a rather sheepish Summer.

Of course it would be Seth to break up the little moment they had been having.

"You alright buddy?" Seth asked, obviously commenting on the red flush in Ryan's cheeks.

Ryan nodded and gave him a smile.

"So, can I break the big news?" Seth asked eagerly and Sandy chuckled.

"Sorry son, I beat you to it." he laughed as Seth frowned.

"See Summer, I told you this would happen. That's why we had to rush…"

Sandy smiled as his son began rambling away about how unfair it was.

He noticed Ryan shooting him little glances and he couldn't help but to feel happier than he had done in a long time. His family was finally beginning to get back to normal.

TBC….

Thanks for reading.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Ryan watched the beaches fly past as they drove along. He couldn't help but feel worried about going home. It couldn't be how it had been, too much had happened. He wished that these last few months could just be erased from all of their minds. He missed how it used to be, back when all he had to worry about was Marissa and Luke.

Sandy was trying to keep up the conversation level in the car and Kirsten kept sneaking glances at him. A wrestling match was still going on in his mind whether she wanted him at home or not.

He leaned his head against the cool glass and sighed.

"We're nearly there, kid." Ryan rolled his eyes as Sandy continued his commentary.

Kirsten glanced behind her shoulder at him, smiling. "Do you have any preference in what you would like to eat for dinner?"

He shook his head, not trusting himself to speak. He didn't want them to hear the anxiety in his voice.

Ryan watched as Kirsten jumped slightly as her phone suddenly vibrated in her pocket. She fished it out and Ryan saw her frown as she read the caller ID.

She glanced quickly at Sandy before answering it.

"Hello?"

There was silence in the car as she listened to the man talking. Ryan could hear the faint murmur of the man speaking.

He saw her expression falter and form into a frown.

"Yes, okay. I'll see you then." Her voice sounded falsely upbeat and when she hung up, she looked at her cell phone, dazed.

"Are you alright, honey?" Sandy asked, concerned.

She took a moment to reply. "I'm not sure." She murmured and she ran a worried hand through her hair.

Xxx

When they arrived at the house, Seth immediately sprang out of the house, a smile planted on his face. He opened Ryan's door for him and stood back as his brother shakily got to his feet.

"So bro, how does it feel to be finally out?" he asked chirpily and Ryan gave him a grin.

"Good," he said quietly, glancing at Kirsten to see if she was alright. She'd been quiet for the rest of the trip and Ryan could tell that whatever news the man on the phone had told her, it hadn't been good.

She whispered something to Sandy and his face grew concerned. He shot a shifty look at Ryan and Ryan looked away guiltily as their eyes met.

He followed Seth into the house and the other boy didn't even seem to notice that he wasn't listening to a word that he was saying as he rambled away.

He looked behind him and saw Sandy pull Kirsten into a hug.

What was going on?

He was ushered by Seth into the living room and a controller was thrust into his hands.

He heard the sound of Sandy's office door closing.

Seth noticed him looking at the closed door and he shrugged. "Don't ask me, dude. They weren't like that, this morning."

Ryan nodded and turned back to the TV screen. "So, what are we playing?" he asked, changing the subject and trying to sound interested.

"Well, I brought a new game a couple of weeks ago and haven't had time to play it yet…" Ryan's couldn't help his mind from imagining what was being said behind the closed door.

Xxx

Sandy watched his wife as she shook with tears.

"God, I wished so many bad things to happen to him." She cried out and he placed a hand on her shoulder comfortingly.

"It's not your fault. He's just made a few enemies in his life and was just in the wrong place at the wrong time." Sandy spoke soothingly, trying to calm her down.

"I didn't want this to happen." She sobbed.

"I know, honey. But we've spoken to the hospital and they said he's fine." He cajoled. "Come on. Let's get the boys and we can go visit him."

"But Ryan won't want to go visit him." She moaned and leant back in her chair.

"Well, we can explain what has happened and see what he wants to do." He brought her into a hug and massaged her quivering back.

"Okay?" he asked.

She didn't reply for a few seconds, just breathing in his scent.

"Okay."

He released her gently. "Do you want me to tell them, whilst you go and clean up?" he asked gently, knowing how worried the boys would be if they saw her red, tear stained face.

She nodded and he kissed her lightly on the forehead.

"I'll be back in a minute."

He opened the door and noticed Ryan's anxious eyes watching him. He tried to smile reassuringly at him but it was clear Ryan wasn't buying it.

He came forward and watched as Seth madly hammered at the controller in his hand, with Ryan's mind elsewhere, his poor little ninja was getting thrashed.

"Guys can you pause that for a second, I have something to talk to you about."

Seth frowned and pressed a button on the controller. The ninjas paused in their mostly one sided battle.

"So, Kirsten got a call today from the county police station. It looks like there has been a fight in the prison that your grandpa is staying at." Seth looked at him wide eyed and Ryan had gone pale. It was clear at least Ryan understood what he was implying.

"Is he okay?" he asked quietly.

"What? Grandpa was involved?" Seth looked between the two of them, wildly.

"We rang the hospital when we got home and it looks like he will be okay, a couple of broken bones and the like. Kirsten and I are going to go and stop by the hospital to see how he is; do you guys want to come?"

He looked between the two of them. Seth immediately nodded, standing up. "When are we going?" he asked.

"Your mom's just freshening herself up, she's obviously very upset about this.

"What about you Ryan?" he asked, watching his face carefully. He received a small nod in reply and Sandy could see the worry in the kid's eyes.

Seth immediately scuttled off to grab his coat and shoes. Ryan stayed back a little and Sandy followed suit.

"Do you think it's a good idea me coming? I mean the guy hates me." Ryan asked anxiously and Sandy patted his back lightly.

"You know that I'm not exactly in Caleb's good books. You don't have to go in, we can just wait outside together. I don't want to leave you here alone on your first day back." he grinned, hoping to reassure him.

"So, what do you say?" he asked.

Ryan looked hesitant for a moment before finally nodding.

"Okay." he said, so quietly that Sandy almost didn't hear him.

"Okay," he confirmed. "We'd better get a move on."

The sound of Kirsten's heels clicking down the hallway was heard and she appeared, her makeup newly in place.

"Ready to go, sweetheart?" she asked and Sandy nodded, getting up.

"Yes we are."

TBC…

Okay so obviously the next chapter will be quite a bit longer because I need to deal with a lot of things and make a nice little ending for you guys. I just thought this would be a good place to start before delving into the hospital visit. There is the epilogue after that- chapter 17- which will deal with things like what happened to the men who did this. Were they arrested? Or did they never get caught?

Anyway, I hope you liked and thank you very much for reading.


	16. Chapter 16

Hi, thanks for all your reviews.

I hope you enjoy :)

Chapter 16

The air in the car on the way to the hospital was thick with tension. Kirsten felt full of guilt with the thought that she may have caused this somehow. After she'd found out that the kidnapping had been due to Caleb's actions, she had been furious. She was still furious but she'd never wanted anything like this to happen. What if he had died and the last thing she had said to him was that she never wanted to see him again?

She knew that Seth was in the same boat, she could see it in the crease in his brow and the way he kept tugging at his collar. He'd always done that when he was younger when he was upset about something. Although back then, all he could be upset about was losing Captain Oats.

She didn't know how her father would respond to her visiting. She had been so rude to him. She just hoped that he'd allow her to see him.

Everything just kept getting worse. She'd thought that with Ryan coming home, everything would magically begin getting better but it definitely wasn't working out that way.

She looked over her shoulder at Ryan and noticed how anxious he looked. His eyes were focussed out of the window and he was shaking ever so slightly.

She looked away and began nervously checking her appearance in the mirror and smoothing out the wrinkles in her skirt.

By the time she recognised the signs for the hospital, she could feel her hands beginning to shake.

Sandy drove up by the entrance and she scrambled out of the car, giving a hurried "good bye" and "see you in a sec", before entering the automatic doors. It wasn't until she reached the front desk that she realised that Seth was behind her.

She gave him a tight smile before trying to attract the attention of the extremely flustered looking receptionist.

"I'm looking for a Caleb Nichol. He was admitted here this morning…"

xxx

Ryan sighed and leant his head against the head rest as Sandy drove around the car park, looking for a parking space. It felt like five minutes since he had finally been able to leave the hospital's doors and now he was back again.

He really didn't want to be forced to come face to face with Caleb. Even if the man was hurt, he couldn't get over the fact that the man hated him so much that he arranged for him to be kidnapped and for him to receive a daily beating.

Kirsten seemed to be blaming herself which didn't make much sense. If anything it was his fault for causing so much hatred to grow inside Caleb. He still didn't understand what he had done to make Caleb hate him so much.

He watched as the hospital grew further and further away and Sandy whispered more and more annoyances under his breath. The parking at this hospital really sucked.

Finally the car was parked and Sandy led the way to the automated doors.

As the doors were opened, Ryan was blasted by the same old hospital smell that had become so familiar to him during the past few weeks. He shuddered slightly at the memories of all the therapist sessions and the prying questions. He looked down at his wrists, covered up by his shirt. The man in here had caused this.

He felt Sandy's warm arm encircle around his shoulders and he leant into it.

"It's okay Ryan, we'll just wait outside. He won't want to see me either," he heard Sandy whisper.

He found himself being led over to the receptionist. In a blur, the room number had been given and Ryan could feel Sandy gently pushing him down the grey corridor.

He tried to shake off his worry as they worked their way down the corridor.

The first thing Ryan saw of Caleb was a little, frail old man sitting up in bed. His arm was in a cast and his face was badly bruised.

He looked over at Sandy and saw the surprise he was feeling mirrored in the man's face.

For a moment he felt nothing but concern for the man that had wanted him to be removed from his family.

He returned his gaze back at Caleb and was surprised to see his steely, grey eyes now focussed on him. He stepped back slightly when the old man's face turned to a frown and the annoyance was clear.

Ryan moved away quickly from the door and sat down on a deserted chair. He felt Sandy come around and do the same in the chair next to him.

They could both hear the sound of Caleb's raised voice. Ryan's name was easily heard.

They were quiet together for a few minutes just listening in a shocked silence to the anger in Caleb's voice.

"Why does he hate me so much?" Ryan whispered quietly.

From next to him, Sandy sighed and shook his head.

"Caleb's just like that. He hates me as well. I remember the first time I met him… he criticised my hair and the clothes I wore. He asked me where I grew up and laughed when I told him that it was the Bronx... He didn't even come to our wedding, claiming whilst on a business trip that there was a monsoon." he gave a disgusted laugh.

"I think with you, he was angry because we didn't ask for **his** permission before we took you in." he shook his head. I think he felt threatened because he realised that Kirsten had done something without telling him." he paused.

"He's not even nice to Seth and Seth's his grandson. Before Rose died, he used to at least try but now…" he trailed off and shook his head. "Nothing pleases him anymore, not even Kirsten."

Ryan listened as Caleb's stern voice still argued with Kirsten.

xxx

Kirsten could not believe the things that her father was coming out with.

She looked over at Seth and saw him stood to the side, his mouth open and his wide eyes staring at his grandfather.

She had felt so guilty on the way over here and now she only felt pure rage.

Her father probably brought on the fight himself by insulting the inmates.

Now he was shouting about how she never listened to him and how Ryan was going to end up robbing them of all their "hard earned" money.

She shook her head in disbelief.

"Why do you hate him so much? What did he ever do to you? Do you really hate him so much that you would rather him dead?" She burst out and her father paused, a shocked expression on his face.

"There is no reason for you to hate him so much. He's brought my family closer together and I love him like a son." She gave him one last glare and turned away, ready to go.

"Come on, Seth. Let's go," she didn't spare her father another look before marching out of the door.

"Bye grandpa," she heard Seth mutter quietly.

She felt herself shaking with adrenalin, she had never stood up to her dad before.

xxx

Sandy stood up as the door opened and pulled Kirsten into a hug.

"Are you alright?" he asked her and she nodded jerkily.

"Let's just go." she nodded briefly at Ryan before taking the lead down the corridor.

The three of them obediently followed and when Sandy peered through the glass at Caleb one last time, he was surprised by the pure look of sadness on his father in law's face.

As he had done on the way in, he placed his arm around comfortingly around Ryan and felt him lean in against him.

He knew they could make it past this, past all of this.

Ignoring all the bad, he could tell that the whole ordeal had made them stronger as a family. They knew that they could depend on each other. Ryan had needed a little more encouraging but he was getting better and hearing Kirsten scream out at Caleb to tell him that she thought of Ryan as her son had helped. Sandy had seen the look on the kid's face when she had said that.

He saw Seth following a little behind them and he hung back a little with Ryan to let him catch up.

"Are you okay?" he asked, slipping his other arm around his other son.

"I suppose." Seth muttered.

Sandy nodded and gave him an encouraging smile. An idea came to his mind to help cheer Seth up.

"Why don't you call Summer in a bit to see whether she wants to come over for dinner?" he asked.

He saw Seth perk up at that.

"Summer does like the takeout, I mean she tries to pretend she doesn't and it's bad for us and all that but it never stops her from eating it. You'll never guess what she…"

Sandy smiled and he noticed that Ryan was doing the same.

The three walked down the corridor, Seth babbling on about something Summer had said in the previous week. Sandy and Ryan continued their usual game of pretending they understood what Seth was going on about.

Yep, everything was returning to how it should be.

The cheesy End (except for the epilogue.)

Thanks for reading.


	17. Chapter 17

The Epilogue

The Epilogue

Ryan looked out of the window. The sky was a deep, radiant blue and the sun shone down, illuminating the glass of the pool house.

It felt so long ago since he'd slept in there and had lain in bed, listening to the sound of the whispering waves.

It had been a long time ago.

Two years had passed since he'd woken up in the pool house for the last time. The last morning before his whole world had crashed down around him.

It may have been 2 years, but the memories were still vivid in his mind.

The yelling. The begging. The coin tossing.

The memories he desperately wanted to forget but was still tormented by.

He took a step back when he saw Seth coming out of the house on to the patio, Summer clutching onto his arm. He smiled softly as he saw Seth jokingly pretend to push her into the pool, his actions answered with a sharp "Seth!"

"Hey Kid," Ryan turned to see Sandy entering the room.

"Hi Sandy,"

"So your therapist called asking if you'd mind changing your session time to 3 o'clock. Something about his son's school play or soccer match, I think."

Ryan looked down, two years later and he still needed a therapist.

He glanced down at his wrists, the sickening scars hidden under his long sleeves. They were a constant reminder of what had happened.

Even in late August he couldn't wear short sleeves anymore, no matter how hot it got.

"Sure, that's fine" he answered and Sandy nodded.

"Good, so uh… what are you up to? I thought if you weren't doing anything, we could go out somewhere for lunch, since your appointment time's changed."

He looked at Ryan and Ryan could see the look of hope in his eyes.

"Sure, sounds great." he responded, trying to sound enthusiastic.

All those years he'd longed for a father figure, after Frank was put away in jail. Sandy was even better than the dad he'd made up in his dreams.

Sandy smiled. "I'll just go and confirm it with Lisa then." he said, hurrying out of the room. Lisa was the therapist's secretary and a talkative one at that so Ryan knew his foster father would be a while.

Ryan began slowly getting himself ready to go. He could still hear the sound of Summer's laughter. He remembered when he used to be part of that. He'd sit with Marissa in his arms, Seth next to him with Summer in his arms.

They'd smile and laugh together.

Ryan didn't think he'd ever feel that comfortable again.

He heard Sandy talking to Lisa on the phone down the corridor.

Kirsten was out at a newpsie event, much to her displeasure. She'd left the house that morning, muttering about how those ladies really couldn't do anything by themselves.

Ryan rarely left the house without her and so he knew that Sandy was anxious to show he could take Ryan out and nothing bad would happen.

Ryan didn't mind going out with Sandy, he was comforted by his adopted father's presence just as much as he was by Kirsten's. He just hated going out by himself.

It was stupid and weak, not to mention Trey would kick his ass if he knew. It was just that he was always so paranoid that one of the men would abduct him again.

Three men had been arrested and were now locked away for a good many years thanks to Sandy. But Ryan knew there had been a lot more than three.

Ryan hadn't been able to go into the courtroom when the three men were being tried. He'd had to appear via video which they'd recorded the day before.

Still, throughout the day, he'd been huddled in a quivering ball in the middle of his bedroom as Kirsten held him. Sandy had come home in the evening with the news of the sentencing.

He was terrified that the remaining men would come after him. He knew he wouldn't be able to handle a repeat of the last two years.

Still, that was what he was working on with his therapist and the man seemed to think that Ryan would, in the future, be able to finally put everything to rest.

The past wouldn't be forgotten, there were too many scars, both physically and mentally but he was trying to help Ryan live with what had happened.

"Hey, ready to go?" Sandy's head popped around the door and Ryan nodded.

"Sure," he breathed out, standing up.

xxx

Sandy watched as Ryan slowly and carefully picked at his lobster. Since the day he'd been found, Ryan would eat little and sparsely. It hadn't improved in the slightest.

Before, Ryan would eat his food so quickly that he'd have been on seconds whilst they were still half way through their first helping.

Now, Sandy was sipping on his beer, his carcass of a lobster pushed to the side as he discreetly watched Ryan eating.

He was still so thin and the lack of properly eating wasn't helping. There were things they still didn't know about what had happened whilst Ryan was away from them, but Sandy had heard enough.

It had been the best day of his life when he'd finally put those bastards in jail. But then he'd come home to find Seth frantically pacing and Ryan in a corner in his bedroom, shaking like a leaf.

Finally, Ryan pushed his plate away and threw his napkin onto the table.

Sandy noticed how he leaned back, wincing and placing a hand on his stomach.

He chucked softly. "You full?" he asked.

Ryan groaned slightly and nodded.

"Do you want anything else or are you ready to go?" he asked, placing his own napkin on the table.

"I'm good,"

xxx

Ryan climbed out of the car, his stomach still ached with fullness and he mentally slapped himself for ordering the whole lobster and not the half lobster.

He walked, shoulder to shoulder with Sandy as they climbed the few concrete steps to the therapist's office.

Lisa looked up and smiled at them as Sandy pushed open the heavy, wooden door and led Ryan over to the receptionist's desk.

"Hi Ryan, he's all ready for you, you can go on through." Ryan nodded and took a steadying breath before making his way down the corridor.

Sandy held back and Lisa must have read the look of worry on his face.

"He's doing well, Mr Cohen. He's improved so much and I can tell that just by the way he comes in each time. Do you remember the first time he came?" she said softly, comfortingly.

Of course Sandy remembered the first time. It had taken almost half an hour for he and Kirsten to convince Ryan to go in. The fear Ryan had had that he'd be on his own with the doctor had shocked the two of them.

Thinking back on that day, made Sandy realised just how much Ryan had come on, he no longer panicked about the session for the days leading up to it. He just got into the car and allowed himself to be driven to the session. It was clear he didn't enjoy the sessions but he still agreed to go.

"Thanks Lisa," he smiled at her.

"You're welcome."

He turned around and picked up an out of date motoring magazine from the rack. He wasn't really into motoring but it was better than an out of date "Teen Vogue" He sat down heavily on his chair and settled himself down.

Give it a couple more years and Sandy was sure his family would be as close as it could be to how it was before everything that had happened.

The End.

That's the end, guys. Thank you to everyone who has commented. Particularly those who commented on most if not all the chapters, I loved hearing what you guys thought. I'm sorry I didn't get everyone's ideas in, that they wanted to read. e just He kdkJW


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